So they say if you swish a tablespoon of oil (sesame or coconut) in your mouth for 15-20 minutes a day, you will see a ton of health benefits. They call it Oil Pulling. I wanted to see what this Oil Pulling was all about. Would I become a superhero as a result of it? I decided I would try it for 30 days and document the changes I would go through.
Swish oil in my mouth for 15-20 minutes a day. I chose coconut oil.
Initial Thoughts (and important info): The jar looked absolutely menacing. The consistency of oil in your mouth is disgusting. Also, it turns out I hate really hate coconut… and trying old school new age ideas. I’m supposed to swish this in my mouth for 15-20 minutes? 15 minutes it is.
As you continue to swish this, it is more manageable because saliva gets mixed in and you feel like you are swishing water as opposed to oil. I have to start reading or something because wandering around my apartment with oil in my mouth only makes me think about how I’m wandering around with oil in my mouth.
I got through 15 minutes and spat this in the toilet (because you don’t want to clog your sink as I was told). It looks like I took a massive cum load in my mouth. I took a picture of my teeth and they don’t look any brighter. I can’t fly or shoot fireballs. One thing is for sure, my patience is terrible
Days 1 – 30
Beginning Expectations (day 1-7)
The only thing I have to show for this is a small sense of superiority I feel I have over other people because I decided I would gargle oil for 15-20 minutes and spout hearsay as gospel that I read on the internet. Another day, another tablespoon I suppose.
If I don’t get the ability to lift and throw cars, I might have to quit. KC smash bottle of coconut oil into garbage? More to come…. like a potential gym memberships and smarter food choices.
Quitter of Oil Pulling (around day 7)
The oil tasted terrible this morning. My girlfriend tried oil pulling and she clocked out at after six days. I can understand. Who wakes up and actively starts the day swishing oil? It’s insanity. I promised myself I would do this for 30 days so I am going to stick it out. At this point, I started to believe maybe my teeth were getting whiter.
Western Medicine and Oil Pulling (around day 14)
I know doctors have a skewed perspective to believe that conventional medicine is the only cure and when something alternative starts to work, they can also hide behind the placebo effect. Maybe my doctor is right? I have to see this through myself. As I stated before, this might also be because of my lack of patience. I grew up in the “gotta have it now” mentality. It is a product of being from NEW YAWK FUCKIN CITY BRO! My teeth have NOT improved overall in color. I believe my skin looks clearer.
A look into the past with Oil Pulling (around day 20)
If this was an ancient healing method, it makes sense why it was long forgotten. Here is a little screenplay I wrote about oil pulling.
Guy 1: Dude we have to oil pull today.
Guy 2: Nah man, that shit is gross.
Guy 1: Think about the health benefits?
Guy 2: I’m just gonna play this one out…
Guy 1: True, that shit is nasty.
*Both die of dysentery* I’m definitely losing my mind doing this. My skin does not look any clearer.
Oil Pulling After Eating (around day 25)
I swished oil in my mouth after eating two meals. I do not recommend it. It is extremely disgusting. I can only assume since my taste buds are more open, I can feel the oil more.
The Results (end of day 30)
Did it improve my allergies? Nope.
Did it improve my overall health? Nope.
Did my teeth get whiter? Nope.
The only improvement I could say is that I felt my mouth felt fresher. I can attribute that to the fact that I swished something in my mouth for 20 minutes. As for my skin and teeth looking better on some days as opposed to others, I believe there are too many factors that influence how they appear on certain days.
Overall: Not Worth Your Time! Also, what the hell am I going to do with this terrifying jar of coconut oil? We live in 2014. You want whiter teeth, go to a dentist. You want to be healthy, do the work. There are no shortcuts to health.
What 30 Days of Oil Pulling Did for Me?